Aubrey's Life

I need to make you more uncomfortable than you just made her – and me, and any human being in earshot.

I need to focus on your misogynistic, demeaning, and unprofessional dismissal of her valid question – a question you aren’t even bright enough to formulate nevermind consider.

I need to make you afraid to look in my direction – subtly aware that I’m larger than you and not just physically – subtly aware that I am immovable.

I need to make you shift nervously in your seat – your seat by name in a room I don’t even belong in, and yet it becomes my room as you wish you could leave – it feels like a room I’ve created with the unbridled fire behind my eyes.

I need to lean in and highlight my control with stretching knuckles and an aggressive posture that says, ‘I want to eat you,’ because I’m just not sure you’re quick enough to understand what has happened here and how very purposeful it was – power shifts are often too subtle for someone like you.

I need to make you wish you were never again in the same room with me – never again so insecure in your own sallow skin – never again proud enough to open your pinched, pale lips.

I need to slow my own pulse which is running away from me.

I need to relax the knot that has been wound up in the vein in my throat.

I need to talk to someone.

I need to write to someone- but I can’t – this is not a threat – but everything I think and say sounds more and more like a threat. This is NOT a threat.

I need to know who you are – how you live, who loves you, see you smiling – and understand your entirety in a manageable bite-sized piece so that I can be sure I’m not overlooking something.

I need everyone else to know who you are – the impotence you so ineptly try to hide with your low brow shallowly brutish speech and faltering attempt at inflection.

I need for no one to ever ‘know’ you again – not your name or what abysmal values you represent or anything you wish to achieve. I will not address you as a human being or even speak your name. I will look through you like a ghost.